The Surprise Guest
by RTech
Summary: Asuka gets a surprise as an unexpected visitor arrives for dinner at Misato's apartment. A short OneShot with some OOCness. Not to be taken too seriously. First fic.


The Surprise Guest

A/N: This is a little something that came to mind while I was working on a different story. It popped into my head and it just wouldn't go away until I wrote it down. This didn't really fit with that story, so rather than waste it I decided to share it. Hopefully someone will find it amusing.

This story is set in the middle of the series before things start to get too crazy.

Warning: OOC ahead.

DISCLAIMER: Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned by Gainax and their related companies, not by me. This story is a parody. It is written for entertainment purposes only, and is NOT for profit.

"speech"

'_thoughts'_

**SOUNDS/EVENTS**

* * *

The evening at the Katsuragi/Ikari/Sohryu apartment was quiet as usual. That is, if you ignored Asuka's incessant griping, Shinji's frequent apologies and Misato's regular war cries after each can of beer. Yes, it was just another dull evening at home and it seemed as though this was how it was going to be until the doorbell rang. Curious, Asuka headed to the door to see who was there. She was surprised to see Rei standing there, impassive as ever. 

Taken slightly aback, Asuka asked the obvious question "Well Wondergirl, why are you here?"

"I was invited to come over and have dinner with Shinji this evening." Rei answered in her usual monotone.

Asuka was surprised by this. "What? Baka-Shinji didn't mention anything about you coming over for dinner – Hey, wait a minute; you called the Baka 'Shinji'. Since when are you two are on a first name basis?" Being bored, Asuka felt like having some fun with her blue-haired rival. Having smelled blood in the water, the redhead decided on a plan of action and she went after her prey. Smiling with a feral grin she asked "Well, isn't this interesting. Is there something you're trying to hide from us? Maybe something that's going on between you two, hmmm?"

Rei stood passively outside the door and seemed to be considering the question that had been posed to her. She started to open her mouth to answer, but was interrupted before she could speak. Misato and Shinji had come to the door wanting to know who had come by.

"Oh, hi Rei, what brings you here tonight?" Misato asked cheerfully, already mellowed from the many beers she had already consumed.

"Hello Rei, I'm glad you decided to come over for dinner after all." Shinji sounded genuinely pleased. He looked over at Misato and asked "You don't mind that she came over, do you? I'm sorry that I forgot to ask first."

"It's O.K., It sounds good to me" Misato answered. _'It's just more ammunition to tease him with'_ she thought as she took a drink from the beer she carried. Looking back at the redhead, she asked "Asuka, are you going to let Rei in or are you going to leave her outside all evening?"

Asuka's smile turned sly "Not until she tells me what's going on between her and the Baka. It seems they're already on a first name basis" she replied.

Misato first glanced at Shinji and then at Rei "Oh really? That's nice."

"What do you mean 'That's nice'?" Asuka's voice rose in disbelief.

Misato thought to herself. _'Oh yeah this is going to be a fun evening after all, heh-heh. Now to commence with the entertainment.'_ Aloud she said "who am I to stand in the way of young love? I think it's cute" their guardian said with as much sincerity as she could manage.

"What do you mean cute?! He's a Baka-Hentai and she's…she's…she's Wondergirl!" was her exasperated response. "Who knows what perverse things he'll try to do with her? That's just gross to think about he they might try."

"Well now, it sounds to me like someone's jealous. Are you afraid she might have beaten you to the punch?" Misato needled Asuka with a smirk. Satisfied, she then took a long drink from her beer.

Spinning around to glare at Misato, Asuka shouted "What?!!! Like I would ever be jealous of Wondergirl! She can have him for all I care! Hmph!"

Rei quietly watched as this exchange took place. She observed the two as Asuka turned her back to her and also noticed that Misato could still clearly see her over Asuka's shoulder. Sensing that this was an opportunity that she couldn't pass up, Rei decided it was the time to strike with a surprise attack. To ensure that the older woman would still see her clearly, Rei waited until Misato had tilted her chin back down after taking a large drink from her beer can. Then in classic anime style, Rei pulled her right eyelid down with her finger, stuck out her tongue as far it would go and made an appropriately insulting sound at Asuka's back "Blehhhhh!"

Now for Misato, time had seemed to slow down. Everything had been going well for her, so she decided to have a little fun. She had just teased Asuka and had taken a drink from her beer while gloating _'Life doesn't get much better than this'_. Unexpectedly though, this was the point when things seemed to slow down and begin to move in slow-motion. She watched as Asuka turned and shouted a vehement denial at her for her last statement. Just when Asuka's tirade had begun however, Misato also noticed Rei and the girl was now smiling ever so slightly. _'Huh?...Rei's smiling…what the…?_' was the only thing the women could think of before Rei did something even more bizarre. Rei's smile grew even wider as the girl locked eyes with her briefly. Rei did this just before she changed her facial expression. The enigmatic First Child looked directly at Asuka and she made an uncharacteristically insulting gesture at Asuka's back.

"Blehhhhh!" was Rei's unusual statement.

As might be expected, Misato's higher brain functions didn't know how to comprehend what she had just witnessed. Her eyes widened in complete amazement at seeing Rei's display of defiance. Misato had been caught completely by surprise and no amount of training would have prepared her for this.

Predictably, with her brain's higher functions being stuck in an alcohol-enhanced error loop, her more basic instincts took over...(This is when time returned to its normal flow for Misato)…which was to spit out her mouthful of beer and to begin laughing uncontrollably.

**PFFFFFFFFFT**

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…Oh Kami! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Rei! That was great! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I never knew…you had it…in you…to do…something like that! Oh Rei!...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!" The purple haired woman dropped to her knees, clutching her sides and was laughing so hard that tears began to flow from her eyes.

Asuka was also amazed, but for a completely different reason. The Second Child was now dripping wet from the top of her head to the middle of her chest, having just received a shower of Yebisu compliments of her guardian. While trying to wipe off the beer and draw her wet hair away from her face the girl screeched angrily "Mein Gott, Misato! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

The purple-haired woman on the floor simply ignored her, all the while laughing and babbling nonsense. Asuka was about to kick the fallen woman in frustration but stopped herself when some of what Misato was saying finally registered in her head.

'_Rei!'_

Realizing that Rei must have done something cause this, Asuka spun back around to confront the girl but was suddenly blinded by a series of very bright flashes of light.

**FLASH – FLASH - FLASH**

Temporarily blinded, Asuka cried out "Ahhh! What was that? Damn it Wondergirl, I can't see! What did you do to me?!" Asuka blinked several times but couldn't clear the spots from her eyes.

"Nothing permanent I assure you. I was simply testing my new camera" Rei calmly answered the redhead. From behind her Asuka heard a low chuckle from Shinji as he came up from behind.

"Gotcha!" was all he said as he passed by her, presumably exiting the apartment.

"Why don't we go out to get some dinner instead, Rei-chan?" Shinji asked the other girl with an amused tone in his voice.

"Yes Shinji-kun, I would like that very much. We can discuss where to post these pictures on the internet while we eat." Asuka heard Rei answer with uncharacteristic warmth.

"How about we put them on the school website? I think we could use the MAGI to do it" she heard Shinji ask.

"Perhaps, that does sound like an interesting choice" was Rei's thoughtful reply.

Asuka couldn't believe what she was hearing. Shinji was laughing at her and Rei was speaking with emotion in her voice! All she could think of was _'what the hell is going on around here?' _and _'Who are these people and what did they do with Baka and Wondergirl?_' Suddenly a new thought occurred to her, after it finally made its way through the haze of anger and confusion. Soon thereafter it shot to her lips "Hey Wait! What pictures?!"

She rubbed her eyes again in an effort to clear away the spots. _'I have to get those pictures!_' she thought desperately. The redhead stumbled blindly forward towards their voices, but it was only just in time to hear the door close and lock in her face.

**SLIDE - CLICK**

Unfortunately for Asuka, she wasn't able to slow her forward momentum in time.

**THUD**

Standing outside the apartment door Shinji and Rei heard this and smiled. The sound of Asuka's collision with the door was followed by a loud "ARGHHH!" of frustration, followed by several loud German obscenities. In an unlikely counterpoint, Asuka's ranting was now accompanied by Misato's renewed laughter. Listening to this, the young couple looked at each other and laughed at having finally achieved a victory over their would-be tormentors.

Satisfied with the evening's events thus far, Shinji and Rei nodded to each other and then proceeded hand in hand down the hallway toward the elevator.

In the end it appeared that Misato's silent prediction had proved correct: This was going to be a fun evening after all.

End

* * *

A/N: This is my first fic, so any comments and/or constructive criticisms are both welcomed and appreciated. 

I have read some fan fiction but obviously not everything (like anyone ever could). I imagine that this idea has been done before many times (the revenge/payback angle). Hopefully this story isn't too similar to what may have already been written. If it appears that it may be, I apologize as it was not intentional.

Thanks for reading.

RTech


End file.
